


The Winter Protector

by orphan_account



Series: The Winter... [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Sort of split personality, Violence, not realistic to how it works, protective winter soldier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6759289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know Bucky from your days with Hydra. When he shows up at your door asking for help after the events of CA:WS, you agree immediately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Escape From Hydra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is when you makes your way out of hydra. It’s mostly a short intro to the story.

You watched Hydra kill your mother when you were just a little girl. She died protecting you. They wanted to kidnap you so they could raise you as one of their soldiers. Boy, did you play them. You let them think you were wrapped around their fingers. You were a good little girl from day one so they wouldn’t waste time on brainwashing. You trained, you killed, You waited.

Now’s your chance to escape. There were only a few people at the base today. At least few threats. Threats that will be easy to neutralize. You got to train with the Winter Soldier himself, so these idiots really won’t be able to put up a fight, compared to him.

“Y/N” You recognized the voice that called out. Winter was back.

You turned to face him, nerves hidden. “Winter, I thought you were on a mission and weren’t due back until tomorrow.”

“I lied.” He walked right up next to you and whispered. “I know what you’re about to do.” You froze instantly. “I’ll keep the lower levels busy.”

Your eyes widened. “Why are you helping me?”

“I don’t know. Just get going.” With that, he made his way down the corridor.

You always had a special connection with Winter, but you never expected this. You met him when you were first taken by Hydra. You were terrified at first. He seemed so serious and drained of himself. As time went on, he didn’t seem all that bad. They had you watch him train, and no matter how violent he was during training, he never acted anywhere near that way to you.

It’s not as if he was buddy-buddy with you, but there was something there. I guess it was his own version of kindness. Soon you would sneak away to study in front of him while he was frozen. Maybe it was because you saw him as my teacher, a big brother, You don’t know, but you felt best when you was near him. As you grew, the more time spent with him, the more he seemed to loosen up a bit around you.

Training with him was fierce, but you loved every second of it. The challenge. The Thrill. Him. One session you got pushed too far and ended up with a broken wrist. Winter personally brought you to the infirmary and wouldn’t leave my side until you were patched up. He even glared at the doctor anytime you showed signs of pain.

When you were 20, you saw the way the look in Winter’s eyes changed. It now matched yours. After one of your training bouts, you took a chance and followed him to the showers. That was when you realized that even if he didn’t love you the way you loved him, he at least felt something for you.

You snapped out of your thoughts and made a mad dash to find a way out of this hell. First, you had to get some key files. With those, you’d be able to show The Avengers that your intentions were true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.c


	2. On Thin Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're on thin ice after Hydra is revealed to be a part of shield.

**_Two years later._ **

“Fury, I swear I had no idea Hydra was in Shield. I thought I had already proven my loyalty to you.”

 

“You have, but so did a lot of agents, so past loyalties are seeming real shaky right now. You were with Hydra for 12 years, and you really had no idea about this?”

 

“Yes! I guess they didn’t trust me as much as I thought. Maybe they had doubts about not brainwashing me. I don’t know, but I was never let in on this secret. I’d love to fight with you right now, but I honestly have no idea how to prove anything to you.”

 

“You will be on indefinite probation. You won’t be getting any missions; you won’t even be allowed near Avengers Tower. Shield will be rebuilt without your help, then you can come back into the picture. You will also get random visits to your home. Do you understand?”

 

You closed your eyes and sighed. “Yes, Fury. Thank you for not writing me off completely.”

 

“You’re dismissed.”

 

You dragged yourself out of his office with your head hung low. You worked so hard to get here and now are at a loss. You felt like crying, but there was no way you were going to allow yourself to do that. You can’t afford to cry over this.

 

“Hey, Y/N are you alright?” You looked up and saw Natasha standing in front of you.

 

“Oh yeah, perfectly fine. Hydra just took away my family once again. At least this time they didn’t kill them. But hey, it’s my fault, right? I got attached now I have to pay the consequences.”

 

“Come on, you know Fury will see how loyal you are. He’s just being extra careful. I mean he didn’t trust me at first. Look, I know you’re on our side, and I’m sure everyone else does too.”

 

“Thanks, Nat. You’ve always been like a sister to me, but I just want to be alone right now.”

 

“Okay. Just remember: I here for you. We come from similar pasts, so I’m not going to just let you fall after all your hard work.”

 

“Ha, you mean all my hard work to enter shield with my fellow Hydra agents, then fight said exposed agents as a part of the long con? Look, I gotta go before I get locked up for existing.” You could hear Nat call after you, but there wasn’t much reason in turning back.

 

Once safely in your car, you leaned back and took a deep breath. _It’s okay. It’s okay. Nat was right; this will all blow over. I’m going to be okay. I just need to wait. I did that for 12 agonizing years; I can do that now._

 

The first thing you did when you got home was scan the entire place from bugs and hidden cameras. You might understand Fury’s doubts, but there was no way you were going to let him take away that much of your privacy. Luckily, the house came up clean.

  
You plopped face first onto the couch and started to sort through all your thoughts. That was until a knock at your front door disturbed you. _I should probably get that in case it’s some BS test from Fury._ You opened the door and couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


	3. Bucky?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky makes his appearance.

“Bucky?” You stood there completely flabbergasted by the figure standing on your front porch. He had his head down as if he had no idea if he was welcome.

He looked up at you. His eyes were full of hope and fear. “You know my real name?”

“Yeah. I stole your file on my way out. It’s really you. You’re really here.”

“Sorry, I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and I figured you would be the best person to help me.”

You put my arms around him with a force that almost knocked you both over and let the tears roll. “You idiot, you don’t have to be sorry. I’m so glad you’re here. I was afraid I’d never see you again unless it was at the end of a gun.”

He returned the embrace and nuzzled into your hair. “Thank you so much, doll.” When he pulled away, you could see he had some tears of his own forming. You just looked at each other for a few seconds, before you wiped your tears with a chuckle.

“Come in. Do you want anything? Food? Drink?”

“Actually, food would be wonderful. I haven’t had much to eat as of late.”

“Of course. Follow me; I’ll make you something.” Good thing there were no bugs; you couldn’t imagine what S.H.I.E.L.D would think if they knew Bucky came to you. For now, you just need to focus on what to make him. “Shit.”

“What?”

“I just got back from Fury, and apparently my loyalty is in question. That means probation. Probation means random home visits. Random home visits mean we need to find you a secure hiding place for when agents show up.” You turned back to the fridge to find a full pack of hamburger patties.

“I’m sorry Doll. I know you had a good set up with the Avengers, and now it’s all messed up. What took them so long to question you? It’s been three weeks.”

You didn’t even bother turning around as you fished for the cheese and condiments. “Buck it’s alright, it’s not your fault. I think they waited partly because they were busy with clean up and partly because they wanted to see if I would run.” Something clicked in your mind, and you turned around. “Wait, have you not eaten in three weeks?”

“Well I mean, I’ve eaten, just not a lot.”

“Alright, you are eating all four of these and a giant plate of fries, not buts. You aren’t allowed to leave the table until you're done.”

He looked completely shocked but quickly smiled. _God, what a beautiful sight._ “Do I at least get dessert as a reward?”

“I just so happen to have ice cream, so yes.”

“Thanks, mom.”

You put my hand on my hips and tilted your head to the side. “Call me mom again, and you won’t get your ice cream.”

Four burgers, a whole bag of fries, and a pint of ice cream later you showed Bucky to the guest room. “You look exhausted. Get some sleep; we’ll worry about the details tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you.”

When Bucky was fast asleep, you figured it was safe to leave him alone to buy some supplies and the like. Of course, you left a note for him just in case.

“Having a party?” A familiar voice sounded behind you. You turned around to see Steve with a sympathetic smile.

“Yeah, a bon voyage party for my life. Honestly, I just want to shut the world away for a couple of days. So I got baggy clothes and tons of food for comfort.” You felt kinda bad for lying to Steve; he’s been nothing but good to you from day one, and you know Bucky is his best friend. “Fury have you follow me here? Or did we just happen to shop at the same time?”

“Shop at the same time.” He held up a basket his own assortment of snacks and drinks. “Even if Fury did tell me to, I wouldn’t. I don’t take to following my friends around.”

“But didn’t you hear? I’m not qualified for that title anymore.”

“Y/N, don’t be like that. You know we all still care about you.”

“Yeah, I know. I just can’t help but be bitter I guess.” You sighed and quickly curved your lips up.

“I understand. That’s how you deal, just don’t cut yourself off forever. Okay?”

“Yeah. Anyway, I should really make my way back home. See ya.”

“Bye.” You saw him give a small wave as you turned around. What you didn’t see was the small worried frown that formed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


	4. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Sorry about the wait. Bucky's figuring out how to settle in.

All your training has lead up to this. Opening doors with your hands full of groceries.

Stumbling through the door, you heard Bucky call out. “Hey, welcome home.” You smiled a little hearing that from Bucky; he must have seen because when got to the kitchen he tilted his head a bit. “What are you smiling about?”

“Hmm. Nothing, really.” You answered putting all the bags on the table and shaking out your arms.

“If it’s nothing, then why are you blushing a little, doll.”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

You kept up a narrow glare until you finally huffed “Fine. I just like hearing you say ‘ welcome home,' is all. Can we move on now? And don’t smile at me like that.”

“Right, sorry.” He says still smiling. “Do you need any help.”

“Yeah, could you put these away while I get the rest from the car?”

“There’s _more_?”

“Well, yeah. I eat enough as is and you’re a super soldier. I also got you some clothes based  off of Steve’s size.”

A frown formed on his face and he busied himself with the groceries. “Why do you know Steve’s size?”

_Oh my god! Is he jealous?_ “I lost a bet and had to do the Avenger’s laundry for a month, and I’m a very observant person. A Little bit of extra info, Stark actually has a pair of Iron Man boxers.”

You saw relief wash over him, and you just knew he was jealous. That knowledge brought you your own relief. You turned and went back to the car.

When you finished putting the second batch of groceries on the table, you noticed a spiral notebook where Bucky was sitting. “What’s this?”

Bucky looked at you like he was debating whether he should tell you or not, so you added, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I was just curious. There’s no pressure on you to talk about anything, you know.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just my memories come back in flashes, so I write them down to make sure I don’t forget again. There’s no order to it, but I can piece it together.”

“How many do you have?”

“Um...this is my fifth one I think. You can look at them if you want.”

Hearing those words made you smile again. “It seems pretty personal so I won’t look out of curiosity, but if you ever want help piecing it together, you can always ask.”

He nodded and went back to unpacking the food until you told him to try on the clothes while you finished up.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

A nightmare roused you from my sleep, but this time it wasn’t yours. You could even hear Bucky shaking the bed between shouts. Stumbling, you made your way across the hall to Bucky’s room. You were wary of the state Bucky would wake up in, so you stayed by the light switch as you called out for him.

“Bucky! Bucky, wake up!” He wasn’t waking so you moved closer and yelled louder, “Bucky!”

He shot up drenched in sweat, with panicking eyes. You slowly moved closer while trying to reassure him. “Hey, Bucky. It’s okay; it was just a dream. You’re safe.”

“Y/N?” You slid onto the edge of the bed as soon as you knew he recognized you. “Shit, did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

“No.No, I’m glad you did so I could wake you.” He wouldn’t look you in the eye. Part of you wanted to tell there’s nothing wrong with nightmares, but that was never what you wanted to hear. “You’ve got a lot of pop culture to catch up on.”

He looked up at you with furrowed brow “You’re losing me here, Doll. What’s that got to do with anything.”

“We should go watch movies. Ooh, we should start with _Jurassic Park_.”

“You really do have to stay up with me. I’m fine; you can go back to sleep.”

You couldn’t help but sigh. “Do I really have to give you the ‘I know I don’t _have_ to, but I _want_ to’ speech?  Or can we just go downstairs and have some fun?” You raised my eyebrows and planted your hands on your hips, for effect.

He chuckled. “Alright, I won’t question it. Let’s go.”

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

The next time you woke, Bucky was fast asleep with his head on your shoulder.  I gave him a light shake. “Good morning, Barnes and Noble.”

“Hmm.” _He looks so cute when he’s just waking up like this._ “Barnes and Noble? What’s that?”

“It’s-Well it’s a bookstore and your last name is Barnes so... Don’t worry about I always come up with random names for people.”

“Oh yes, I remember. I think my favorite was Polar Raccoon.”

“Really? I think my favorite was Frosty The Sexman.” You smirked.

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that one.”

“What?! That was a genius pun. How could you forget my best work?” You put your hand on your chest in mock scandal. “I’m hurt, truly.”

He put his hand on his chest but with mock sympathy. “I’m sorry, truly.”

“I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, for now. But onto more important things; you didn’t have anymore nightmares last night.”

“Huh.” He said in thought, then smiled. “I didn’t, did I?”

“Nope.” You got a little more shy with your next statement. “So I was thinking, do you maybe want to sleep in my room from now on? I mean since the buddy system seems to work.”

“I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“Bucky, it’s fine. Besides if I let you keep sweating so much in your sleep, I’d have to call you _Rusty_  The Sexman.”

He rolled his eyes at that one. “You know Doll, sometimes I don’t know if I love you or hate you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find my writing on tumblr: http://specialagentcupcake.tumblr.com/fics


	5. Th First Visitation

Three weeks had passed since Bucky first stood on your doorstep and he was settling in quite well. His nightmares weren’t a thing of the past, but they happened in fewer numbers. When they did happen, he didn’t thrash hard enough to shake the bed. He still seemed to have the idea that he was somehow a burden, but you couldn’t have been happier to have him by your side again.

“Hey, Bucky. I’m going to the store what do you want for dinner.”

“Well, I think I remember the potpie recipe my mom used to make, so I was hoping I could try making it.”

“Of course. So, I’ll need a list.”

Bucky left you with your thoughts, to go get one of his notebooks. Happiness washed over you to know he remembered such a sweet little thing like that, but you were also worried. You knew that he would be crushed if the pot pie came out wrong. He’d be disappointed that his memory didn’t come back as well as he thought, but he would also be crushed because it was a memory of his mother. You knew out of all his memories this was one he desperately wanted to get right.

“Here, it the only thing on the page so you can rip it out if you want.”

“Bucky, this book is important; I’m not going to rip anything out. Besides, even you must know that phones can take pictures.” You took a look at the ingredients before snapping a picture. “They sell already made pie crust, do you just want that or do you still want to make your own?”

“Already made. It means fewer chances I’ll mess up.”

“Alright, not the best attitude but, I’m off.”

"Bye, Doll"

You were humming to yourself as you parked when you noticed a certain archer perched on the porch railing. Your annoyance was quickly chased away by nerves. You never talked about what to do during a home visitation. Bucky may be a master assassin and spy but so is Clint.

"You know you aren't actually a bird, right? The railing, really?"

"I like heights especially once I can quickly move from if I see something."

"What are you going to see from there? Lunch?" You couldn't see it, but you knew Clint rolled his eyes after that comment. "If you're here to play babysitter could you at least help me with the bags? That way you can check to make sure I don't have any contraband."

He jumped down and started to walk towards you and the car "I realize you pissed and hurting right now, so I won't comment on the attitude." You were about to reply when he added "And don't say 'you just did'"  

"I wasn't..." You pouted and trailed off.

He gave me a look that screamed 'really, now' as he pulled as many bags as he could carry out of the car.  

"You don't have to act like a dad all the time."

"I'll stop when you stop acting like you need a dad."

"I don't know if I should consider that sweet or an insult."

"Probably both."

You placed the bags on the kitchen table when you finally asked "So have you searched the house yet? Or have you just been laying eggs out there" This time you could see his eye roll

"No I haven't searched your house, and I don't plan on it. I don't plan on breaking in when you aren't here."

"Then, you're really bad at your job. You're supposed to be outing me as a Hydra agent."

"Even if I thought you were a Hydra agent you would leave any 'contraband' where I could find it while you're out."

"But what if  I have a secret man in my life."

"Yeah, because you're such a people person."

"I am for my fellow Hydra agents." You turned away from the bags when Clint slammed his hands on the table, causing you to jump.

"Stop acting like a brat! None of us think you're Hydra and we all care about you. Yeah, Fury is being paranoid, but can you blame him? Either way, we aren't Fury, so stop acting like we're enemies. Actually, pick up the phone when we call or call us yourself. When was the last time you even talked to Nat? You two used to talk almost every day."

You could only stare at your feet. "I-I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I know. Please, just work through what you're going through; don't just push it aside. And try cleaning up your dishes, you're making it look like you actually do have another person here."

You tensed a bit hearing that, even though you knew he was joking. "Yes, Dad. I'll be a good girl and do my chores."

"Good." He chuckled. "Well, I've done my job and visited you, so I leave you be. It was good to see you."

"Yeah, it was. Bye." You still sounded deflated even to yourself.

Clint sighed again before turning to leave. "Bye."

You started to put everything, but the pie crust away, while you listened for Clint to drive off. You were grabbing the potatoes when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"You alright, Doll?"

You let out a sigh. "Yeah. It's just- he's right, you know? I'm acting like a brat when the other Avengers have been nothing but supportive. I'm just so confused about how I'm supposed to feel. I don't even feel like that's fair because you're probably far more confused about everything than I am. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. And I don't want to put my troubles on you when you already have enough as is."

He squeezed your shoulder in comfort before speaking. "Y/N. There isn't away you're 'supposed' to feel. Like he said you have to work through this. I want to help you as much as you want to help me; we're in this mess together."

"Can we just make dinner now?"

"Mhm."

Bucky took out the knives and cutting board while you grabbed the pie dish and pan for the cream sauce. A stroke of curiosity hit you.

"Where were you hiding anyway?"

"Under the bed."

You chuckled a little bit hearing his answer. "Really under the bed? Are you five?"

"Exactly. No one would expect someone to actually hide there."

"Did you actually think that when you hid or did you just not have any other ideas."

"Both. I was hoping my logic would be enough because I didn't think of anything else. We really should have figured things out _before_ the first visitation."

Thirty minutes later it was the moment of truth. At this point, you were just as nervous as him as he brought the fork to his mouth.  The last thing you expected when he swallowed was for Bucky to burst out laughing.

"Um, Bucky?"

"I don't actually remember what it used to taste like." His laughter took on the form of a sad smile.

You tried it out for yourself. "Well, it tastes good; that means you didn't mess up the recipe. I'd say that's a win, right?" You looked at him with a hopeful look.

His dull smile got a little brighter. "That's a good point. I just wish..."

  
You grabbed his hand and mimicked the squeeze he gave your shoulder. "I know, Buck, I know."


End file.
